To: Brad
From: Peng Wee
Date: 17/9/2016
Subject: Self-introduction, Educational background,
Interests, Goals for the programme and my aim for the future
Good day Brad,
I am Peng Wee a student of SIT (Singapore Institute of
Technology), currently I am doing my Bachelor degree with Honours in Telematics. The
objective of this email is to share with you more in depth about some the
goals and future plans I want to achieve.
Before I begin, I would like to briefly touch on my
educational background. I graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic in year 2014,
and was conferred a diploma in Electronic, Computer & Communications
Engineering. Prior to that, I had graduated in Jurongville Secondary School in
year 2010.
I have an interest in reading books during my leisure time,
I prefer mostly non-fiction genres. For example, memoirs and a wide variety of books wrote by
successful people. Personally, I enjoyed reading book based on an author’s real life
experience, which are written with great emotions and inspirational.
Goal setting is an important part of our life, which provide us a road map to our future. The goal I set for myself is to perform well in my academic studies, and to secure a stable job in
the government sector such as LTA (Land Transport Authority) or ST Electronics.
I hope I can put the skills and knowledge acquired in the programme into practice.
Lastly, I have aimed to be an elite professional in my future
employment. In order to achieve it, I need to gain more industrial skills by working with well-known engineering firm, and take opportunities to learn from the company seniors.
With this I will conclude the brief introduction about
myself.
Thank you!
Regards,
Peng Wee
Edited on 30/9/2016
Commented on Karthig and Syafiq
Edited on 30/9/2016
Commented on Karthig and Syafiq
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Peng Wee,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your introduction as I am able to know more about your educational background and your hobbies as well.
Your introduction is highly detailed in content. However, I believe your introduction can be more concise though.
There are also quite few grammatical errors in your introduction, do take note.
1st example:
"I graduated in from Nanyang Polytechnic..."
Should be changed to:
"I graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic..."
2nd example:
"Personally, I enjoyed reading book based on the author’s real life experience..."
Should be changed to:
"Personally, I enjoy reading books based on an author’s real life experience..."
Despite these few mistakes in your introduction, it was a joy to have read your introduction. I hope you are able to achieve your goals during your time in SIT and I wish you nothing but the best for your future endeavors. I look forward to reading more of your writing!
With Regards,
Karthig
Dear Peng Wee,
ReplyDeleteIt was interesting reading your introduction. I got to know more about you after reading it. Your email was written relatively well, aside from some grammar mistakes.
I look forward to meeting you and getting to know you more in class.
Regards,
Wei Sheng
ReplyDeleteThanks very much, Peng Wee, for this clear, concise and informative letter. It has a precise focus on your educational background and professional goals, which you articulate adroitly. We can see that you seem to know exactly what you want to do in the future. It will be interesting for you to see how that plays out.
There are some minor language errors in this first draft:
1) I am Peng Wee a student of SIT ... >>> (punctuation)
2) Prior to that, I have graduated... >>> (verb tense) ...I had graduated...
3) Lastly, I aimed to be an elite .... >>> (verb tense)
None of these takes away from your very good effort. We look forward to learning more about you.
Dear Brad,
DeleteThank for taking your time to read through my formal email, and also giving me some useful guidelines to improve my writing. I believe this would help me improve my writing style in my subsequent assignments.
Regards,
Peng Wee